My Toxic Trait Is Thinking England Will Win - Football Baby Tee

Self-aware? Yes. Going to change? Absolutely not.

Every tournament you believe — really, properly believe, against decades of evidence and your own better judgement. And every tournament they take that belief and do something unspeakable to it around the quarter-final. You know how this ends. You've booked the day off anyway.

The red flag is coming home. It lives in your chest now.

The bit that matters:

• Fitted micro-rib baby tee — hugs everywhere, size up if denial needs breathing room
• Buttery cotton blend, breathable through the inevitable
• Slogan in deep navy, our own St George's cross crest
• S–2XL