Sorry Babe, Jude Scored. - England Football Baby Tee

He was mid-sentence. Jude was mid-box. You made your choice in real time and you'd make it again.

"Sorry" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here — you're not, actually. The goal went in, the arms went up, the boyfriend went unheard. Priorities.

He'll get over it. Jude won't stop scoring.

The bit that matters:

• Fitted micro-rib baby tee — hugs everywhere, size up for comfort during stoppage time
• Buttery cotton blend, breathable through ninety minutes of ignoring him
• Slogan in deep navy, our own St George's cross crest
• S–2XL